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The dissolution of any marriage is a time of sadness and grief, but when a marriage that has produced
children comes to an end the effects can be devastating for everybody involved. What was once a rarity,
and a tragic one at that, has sadly become the norm in modern society and our children are those truly
suffering from the divorce epidemic in America. Nonetheless, many adults find divorce to be necessary
and must make accommodations for their children during this difficult time. Finding ways to ease
the strain of your impending or recent divorce on your children can seem like an impossible task, but
there are actually several things you can do as a parent to help them cope and eventually recover. One
relationship may be coming to an end, but you will have to work hard to keep your relationship with
your children intact through the ordeal of divorce.
In order to begin the healing process with your children during a divorce, you have to be willing to put
your own feelings aside and put yourself in their shoes. Empathizing with your children is imperative
during this extremely traumatic experience, so make sure that you do not so get caught up in your own
problems that your children’s pain becomes merely an afterthought. Talk to them openly about how the
divorce has affected them, and do not restrain the conversation to the realm of feelings and emotions.
Obviously, you should always be attentive to the way your child feels, but often the fracturing to a
family that occurs during a divorce has very tangible consequences for a child. From the friends they
might lose if they move in with Mom, to the car that stays with Dad while he’s away, the totality of a
divorce’s negative effects should be realized.
Depending on the age and maturity of your children, helping them to understand exactly what is
happening to their parents may require a variety of approaches. The youngsters should be shielded
from the gory details, the arguments and any other negative activities which might be swirling around
them. School kids should have the concept of marriage and divorce explained to them very carefully,
so that they fully comprehend that their parents will always be their parents. Some of the top onlinemasters in counseling programs throughout the nation advise divorcees that honesty is the best policy
when it comes to easing the strain on their children. With all of the sudden changes in their lives during
the divorce, your children are paying close attention, so the best masters in counseling programs
state that honesty and forthrightness are always preferred to subterfuge and patronization. Many
children feel pushed to the sidelines during a messy or protracted divorce, so you need to stay vigilant
and continually remind your kids that you care. Take them out for dinner and spend time talking, do
whatever it takes to communicate the message that you are still there for them and always will be.
very tough topic