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Most women these days labor under the assumption that they can do it all. And while there is certainly
something to be said for maintaining a fulfilling and rewarding career outside the home while also raising
a family, the truth is that any woman who splits her priorities in this manner generally ends up giving
more to one or the other, and not enough to either. The important thing to remember in life is that it is
all about compromise, so if you want to truly excel in one area, you’re probably going to have to sacrifice
another. So should you get a job or stay home with the kids? Here are just a few things you’ll want to
consider before you make your choice.
The first thing to address is the state of your finances, since this could be a determining factor in whether
you stay home or get a job. A second but equally important consideration is your earning potential, and
the two go hand in hand. Although you may desperately need a second income in order to make ends
meet, the truth of the matter is that childcare is pretty expensive. And if you can only count on minimum-
wage work, your entire paycheck could be going straight to daycare services, leaving you without any
extra money and your kids in the care of strangers. This is hardly ideal for any of the parties involved. Of
course, if you have family and friends willing to help you out, even a low-wage job could be worthwhile,
financially speaking. But if you’re working just to pay for childcare you’re probably better off staying home
and following the example of moms that engage in extreme couponing to save money when they’re unable
to go out and earn it.
While finances may be your most immediate concern when it comes to the issue of working versus staying
home to raise your kids, it’s not the most important issue by far. You also need to consider the emotional
ramifications of your decision to both you and your children. Even mothers that would like to continue
their careers after giving birth may change their minds when they’ve got a little bundle of joy in their
arms. And you must also consider that it can be detrimental to a child to be left by its primary caregiver
early in life. Although most babies will adapt as long as they are in a properly stimulating environment
with a loving and attentive caregiver, nobody is going to love your baby the way you do, especially not
when they’re caring for a handful of other kids simultaneously. Another option if the mother is the major
breadwinner is for the father to stay home, but that is something you’ll have to discuss with your spouse.
Of course, there is a third option that has become more widely available thanks to the internet, and that
is working from home. Aside from women whose careers fall into categories that cannot move into the
home sphere , pretty much anyone can find a
way to work out of the house. Ideally, work-at-home moms should have jobs that allow for telecommuting
(virtual assistant, writer, graphics designer, or even marketing professional, for instance). But even
things like tutoring and hair styling can be done from home, allowing moms to avoid making the difficult
decision of whether to return to work or stay home to raise kids.
I’m just popping in to double comment.
I was a single mom and although I loved the times I got to stay at home with them I did decide to go to work because there were things they needed that I could not provide for them other wise. There was a time I knew my babysitter would become a part of their lives and see them progress in areas that I did not but it would have been selfish of me at the time to stay at home and see them do those things then to go out and better their lives financially. Eventually when I was married I was given the opportunity to be an at home mom again and I took it but I would have never chose to stay at home and make my children suffer due to the financial burden I would have forced on them. Babysitters were always my team mates. We worked together for the good of my children.
it’s not always that easy- no mother wants anyone but herself to see their child’s first steps- but not every mother is even able to stay home. maybe mom makes more money then dad, maybe her insurance is better, maybe dad is currently jobless-maybe she just loves and adores her job and spent 15 years in college for her degree- judge not lest ye be judged. no one knows what is better for each family then the mother herself, and we as women need to respect each other to make our own decisions, it’s hard enough just to be a mom- we need to support each other regardless. no one judges men like this.
The other thing mothers need to consider is do they want the babysitter to be the first one to see their little one walk for the first time?
Excellent article!
I think staying at home is the best thing for raising kids. But…. sometimes, it just can’t be that way.
Like Grace, I was both…. I would rather of stayed home, but duty calls.
I was an at home mom and a working mom when my kids were growing up.
When I was a working mom I always felt like my kids were not getting enough of my attention and help with school work.
I preferred the be at home mom and spending less but sharing more.
Oh, this is the dilemma I have right now. I have stayed home for a little over a year and went back to work last December. That job lasted only 2 mos. Hoping to find work I can do at home because I really prefer spending more time w/ my kids. We really need the income though. Wish me luck!