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Financial issues arise in nearly every marriage. Even the rare couple that is independently wealthy is bound to suffer disagreements occasionally concerning how money is handled (spending, investments, etc.). For most people these types of problems arise from a failure to communicate, but the truth is that we all have different ideas about the role money plays in our lives and how it should be managed. And most people never receive any kind of education in this area beyond the basics (you have a job to earn money, which then pays for your living expenses). So we’re all just kind of winging it. It’s no wonder we disagree once
we begin to blend our finances. However, there are ways that you can get a productive conversation going on the topic in order to make discussing your finances easier. Here are a few tips to ensure financial (and marital) success.
1. Be honest. If you and your spouse face frequent financial difficulties, the worst thing you can do is
sweep them under the rug and hope they go away (or hide transactions that you think will spark an
argument). A policy of open and honest discourse is the key to resolving any financial issues you
may face as a couple. The only way to fix these problems is to decide on a solution together.
2. Form a budget. Often, couples fail to communicate about money. You might write a check or
swipe your bank card and forget to enter the transaction in the ledger, so that your spouse goes to
pay the mortgage without realizing that money first needs to be transferred from savings. In short,
one hand doesn’t know what the other is doing. But by sitting down together to formulate a budget
you can easily see where these missteps are occurring and get on the same page with spending.
And it couldn’t hurt to keep separate accounts, either, so that you can each have some spending
money without having to worry about messing up joint accounts.
3. Track money. These days, with online banking, there’s no reason that you both shouldn’t be able
to track joint accounts with ease. The trick is that you actually have to look before you spend. If
you can’t be bothered to keep tabs on your own finances, think about the fact that your slip-ups
may now reflect badly on your spouse as well (harming credit scores and so on). Hopefully that
will prompt you to make more of an effort and avoid some of the conflict that comes from money
problems.
4. Take financial classes. Most people are never educated in the ways of money management, so it’s
no surprise when they have problems. If you and your spouse take classes together, you’ll learn to
manage your finances in the same way, making for better communication and a stable budget.
5. Talk to a counselor. If your financial problems get bad enough, you might find yourself ready to
perform a do it yourself divorce. Instead, remember that no relationship comes with a manual. But
the best way to work things out is by talking in a constructive manner, and a counselor or couples
therapist can help you learn to do just that.
it’s always about money isn’t it