Is Your Child Ready and Prepared to Be Home on His Own?

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At some point, the conversation is going to come up. You and your partner have to
go out, and your child balks at being left with a babysitter. He just feels like he’s too old,
and wants to be trusted to take care of himself. It’s an incredible moment; just another
example of your baby starting to grow up. But how do you know if he’s ready for that? It
the child is mature, understands the rules, and is prepared for all contingencies, staying
home alone for the first time can be an important and rewarding moment in his life. He’ll
feel a new sense of self-confidence and independence, will understand he’s gaining
responsibility, and will truly know that you trust him. However, there are always going to
be risks. How will your child deal with challenges, or unexpected emergencies? There is
no set, legal age when children are allowed to stay home alone. It’s really based on their
maturity. So how can you tell if your child is ready and prepared to be home on his own?

In part, the decision may depend on the circumstances. Are you leaving for just an
hour or two, or is it all day? Will they be alone at night? Will they have to make their
own meals? There’s more to be concerned with at night, as kids will have less access to
assistance. But if you live in a safe neighborhood, your child understands clearly not to
open the door for strangers, and you’ve taken care of any potential hazards in the home,
you can probably rest easy.

You may also want to take the time to prepare your child with the skills necessary
to stay safe. Make sure they know who they should contact if an emergency arises,
and that they have all of your numbers. It may feel like overkill, but giving your child the
basics of first aid will only have you and him resting easier about the whole situation.
Another good idea is to create a family emergency plan, and have it written down.
Your child should be able to recite it back to you, so you know he won’t panic if the
unforeseen ends up happening. And your child should always be able to tell someone
his full name, phone number and address, including zip code.

If you have the sense that he’s ready to stay home alone, but feel like you need to
be sure, there are some tips that can help you get there. First off, start with a trial period.
Instead of leaving him alone for the first time all night, start with a short time away and
see how it goes. Leave for only an hour or two, and stay in the neighborhood. Then you
can talk it through with him at the end and see how it went.

Another good option is role playing. Act out situations that could arise and see how
your child reacts. You’ll get a great sense of his instincts this way, and it should give you
some peace of mind. Make sure before you role play that you’ve set up a clear set of
rules. Your child should know exactly what behavior is allowed, and what he absolutely
cannot do. If he fights you on any of it, he might not be ready.

While you’re out, take the time to periodically call and check in with your child. If
you’re going to be gone for a long time, it might be a good idea to have a neighbor
stop by and check in as well. Let your child know this is the plan, so he’ll be ready
when the doorbell rings. Once you get home, talk about the situation. Find out if he felt
comfortable being here on his
own. Discuss your home security techniques, and whether it gives him peace of mind,
or just makes him anxious. How he feels about the situation could tell you all you need
to know about whether your child is ready for a few more chances, or still needs the support of a sitter.