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We’ve all had moments when we’ve encountered blatant rudeness. Someone will
bump into us without saying “Excuse me” or when we answer the house phone, the
person on the other end will demand to speak with someone without saying “Hello” or
introducing themselves.
These are just two examples of what it’s like to live in a world where some people
are simply not very polite. And yet, could you imagine how much nicer it would be if all
of us made it a point to exemplify good manners as a way of being courteous to those
around us?
When it comes to teaching your children how to be polite, this is just one of the
reasons why it’s imperative that you do. It’s not just a way of being respectful to others,
but it’s also an extension of having respect for yourself.
Although there are many things that you can teach a child when it comes to developing
good manners, here are five that are essential for everyone at every age.
Say “Please” and “Thank you”. It’s one of the most common
life etiquette tips, but it’s also one of the most effective. By teaching your child how to
say “Please” and “Thank you”, you are encouraging them to let people know that when
it comes to asking for something, they are willing to nicely do so; that yes, the old saying
is true: “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” A “Please” and “Thank
you” puts people at ease, which makes communicating with them, especially when it
comes to something that you want, much easier.
Shake hands and make eye contact. There aren’t a ton of kids
who do either one of these days, but there are some huge benefits to both actions. For
one thing, when you are introduced to someone, it’s always polite to shake hands with
them and look them in the eye as a way of letting them know that you appreciate the
opportunity to meet their acquaintance. At the same time, you’re also teaching your child
how to develop clear boundaries (hugs are traditionally for far less casual relationships)
and to develop confidence in themselves. When s/he looks someone in the eye, s/he is
conveying that they are comfortable with themselves as a human being.
Whisper when you’re not sure if you should say “it” out loud.
One of the most beautiful things about a child is that they are a blank slate. Not one
day goes by when they do not see something new that causes them to ask questions;
sometimes, a lot of questions. Don’t discourage them from doing so, but do
make sure they know that certain things are best said in private. So, especially if you
have a younger child, teach them that when they are in doubt about whether something
should be publically exclaimed that it’s probably best to whisper it into their ear. (This is a
tip that even some adults could stand to incorporate, wouldn’t you say?)
Send “thank you” notes. If there’s anyone who gets a lot of
gifts, it’s usually a child. Sure, they get presents for their birthday and Christmas, but
many also receive care packages from grandparents and other loved ones throughout
the year. The sooner that they learn how to send out thank-you note cards, the
sooner they will learn a form of etiquette that can last them for years to come. Plus, it’s
something that makes the heart of a grandparent melt like butter whether the child is 5- years old or 25.
Accept people’s differences. As children grow, they start to
become further exposed to different kinds of people and cultures. Teach them early on
that just because someone is a different color or size or they look differently or don’t talk
the same way that they do, that there isn’t something “wrong” with that individual. It’s
simply what makes them special and unique. Once this is instilled into a child, not only
are they more courteous with those around them, but more empathetic as well.
I have just discovered this blog, and as a former teacher and author of several award winning books that teach good manners and consideration for others, disguised as fun books, I must say that like this blog very much and agree with its message. I offer the following suggestion to parents of smaller children: It is not just about saying “Please” and “Thank You” for gifts, although this is important. Setting a good example is also essential. But in today’s society full of bullying and self-centered children, it is helpful to teach your children the benefits of consideration for others and being polite as early as possible. The Magic Word is a book emphasizing good manners, which can be read to toddlers. It is a rhyming story of a little girl who was rude, selfish and demanding – and had very few friends. Her mother suggested that she needed to improve her manners; so when she went to school the next day, she thought of her mother’s advice, “What is the magic word?” and she started saying “Please” and also “Thank You”. She tried to become more thoughtful of others, and discovered that she was a much happier person. The repetitive use of the phrase “What is the magic word?” has children answering “Please”!