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Growing pains. We don’t call them that for nothing because the reality is that even when changes happen that are for our greater good, it still means having to adjust from one way of life to something else. Even for us as adults, that can sometimes be challenging.
So, just imagine how much more difficult it can be for our kids when it comes to making a decision such as relocating. Yet, there are things that you can do to bring about an easier transition and a more peaceful sense of calm for your children. Here’s how:
Have a conversation with them. By this, we don’t mean taking on the approach of “We’re moving…because I said so!” No, what we are saying is that it’s a good idea to take your kids out to someplace special or to cook them their favorite meal (so that they’ll feel more at ease) and then share with them, on a level that they can understand, the changes that are to come and why you think it’s a good idea. Even for them.
Be open to hearing what they have to say. If they are old enough to where they were used to a certain routine, there’s a huge possibility that they are not going to be thrilled about the move, at least initially. And honestly, that’s OK. Don’t take it personally if they cry or show emotions that reflect anger or confusion. Allow them their space to (respectfully) express themselves. Grieving change is a part of life and of growing up.
Show them the “good sides”. They are probably going to be thinking about all of the “bad things” that are going to come with moving, so make a concerted effort to point out what’s good about relocating. Encourage them to go online for things that they can do in the new area so that you can help them to get excited about what’s to come.
Be patient. As with most things in life, there are going to be some good times and some bad, but the important thing to remember is that everything has seasons and even on the bad days when even you might be wondering if you made the right decision, “This too shall pass.” Kids are pretty resilient. They will adjust.
Have a “tourist weekend”. There’s a pretty good chance that when you were doing your own research on the best places to live, that you thought about where you could move that would have good schools and would be low on crime. But, just as the area is new to your children, it’s probably going to be a bit of a season of discovery (or rediscovery) for you as well. So, once you have moved into your new place, why not make a weekend of it by spending time touring the area? Where’s the movie theater? Why not try out a new restaurant? What’s a place (relatively) close by that is kid-friendly? Kids love an adventure and if you present relocating in the right light, that is exactly what they can find themselves experiencing.
Considering the fact that I’ll be moving to another state entirely, this post was very timely. My boys and I are all going to have a hard time adjusting. We’ve been talking about it and we’ll all have varying emotions, but I believe we’ll get through it. If not, we can always come back. =)
These would have been great for me when I was a kid. I can’t count the number of times we moved and I was always starting at a new school every year it seemed.
Great tips and wish we could put them to use..I want to move to Orlando FL so bad so much warmer than Cincinnati OH plus Disney is a big plus. As far as animals go we have a parakeet, beta fish, hermit crab, and a gecko..love to be a furry animal family but my son is allergic to cats haven’t tried a dog yet. Can you see us moving with all our animals…I would try though..Great tips Sam..
I was lucky my kids had no issues when we moved 6 years ago. The dog however totally freaked out!