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One of the most admirable things that anyone can possibly ever do is adopt a child. Not only does it speak to the selflessness of one’s heart, but also a profound willingness to better the community as well because for every orphan that has a good home, that is just one more child who will receive the love and nurturing that they need to thrive and prosper in this world as an adult.
However, that doesn’t mean that with adopting there isn’t a lot of responsibility that comes with it; that’s why it’s a good idea to really sit and take a few things into some serious consideration before applying to be a little child or young teen’s parent.
What kind of child do you want? Some people only want a newborn. Others are aware of the fact that a lot of children who are older than toddler age tend to be overlooked and so they apply to adopt children of elementary and high school age. Whatever your preference may be, make sure to think about the age, the race and nationality of the child that you want to adopt. If it is a child of a different culture, for their sake do as much research on their background as you can. It’s unfair to a child to not acknowledge where they came from as being a part of who they are. (Interjecting- this is not always possible, backgrounds are not always given or even available- just do what you can, and learn about the country your child is from as well if you adopt out of country. Know that many orphanages will tell outright lies to you, even about the age and health of a child. Beware of traps and have a social worker you trust and is knowledgeable and honest in place for when you return home, as well as a doctor who knows about international adoption- a specialist- immediately upon your return. You may have a wonderful experience- you may walk into something you cannot even imagine. Find support groups and doctors that specialize- everyone else will be useless to you. If you need help, get it- there is no shame in getting help for your family or newly adopted child.)
Is all of your family on board? If you don’t have any children and you and your partner are in agreement, then this point won’t be of relevance to you. But, if you already have children, you definitely need to take both their needs and feelings into consideration. Not so much because they have the final say, but because there will definitely be a time of adjustment and you want to make sure that your birth children are emotionally and socially ready to compromise such a fashion.
Do you want an open or closed adoption? If you speak with an adoption expert or an agency such as Xcell 2000, one of the things that they will probably tell you is that open adoptions are proving to be a healthier choice for children. By letting them know very early on that you “chose them” and that they have birth parents as well, and then by having some sort of communication with their birth parents, it helps kids to not deal with a lot of a shock, fear or resentment that comes with not knowing either that they were adopted or who their birth parents are.
Can you afford to adopt? By this, we don’t just mean if you have the money to raise an adopted child, but also the time to invest into one. All children, regardless of how they come into our lives, need lots of attention and affection. It’s wonderful thing to adopt indeed, but make sure that you can afford, in every way, to give a child what they need before you do.
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