5 Tips to Help Your Kids Develop Self-Esteem

Disclosure: In any review for a product or service, products or compensation may have been provided to me to help facilitate my review. All opinions are my own and honest. I am disclosing this in accordance with FTC Guidelines. Please see “Disclose” and "Terms of Use" tabs for more information.

KidzaniaIt is often said that kids don’t come with a handbook. While there are plenty of books out there on the subject of raising children, including those that teach you the basics of feeding and bathing, as well as those that cover cognitive development, physical milestones, and psychological growth, none can offer a blueprint that tells you exactly how to raise your child. Kids do tend to follow predictable patterns, but they’re all individuals, and you can only do your best as a parent to help them grow and develop properly. That said, there are steps you can take to achieve particular ends with your kids. If, for example, you want to ensure that your children develop the strong self-esteem that will help them to succeed in every area of life, here are a few tips to help you out.

  1. Pose challenges. A person’s sense of self-worth can revolve around accomplishments, and in a very real way, one success can lead to another. As a parent, you not only have the ability to teach your children their very first lessons in life, but also to help them achieve their first successes. This starts with simple tasks like getting dressed, brushing teeth, tying shoes, and picking up toys, just for example. But as your kids begin to develop their motor and cognitive functions you can create more challenging tasks for them to complete, potentially increasing their self-esteem. If you continue to challenge them throughout their youth they will be better prepared to deal with the curveballs life throws at them and they’ll have the high self-esteem that leads them to believe they can accomplish anything.
  2. Offer praise. When teaching children it is all too easy to tell them what they’re doing wrong in order to correct their behavior. But you’re better off making a concerted effort to tell them what they’re doing right. When you give them a boost by offering praise for the things they do well, it not only makes them feel good, but it can also soften the blow of criticism and make them more receptive to trying again (until they succeed). And keep in mind that they are not adults, meaning they may not be able to live up to your standards. If you want them to improve, though, it’s important to let them know what they’re doing right before you start correcting what they’re doing wrong.
  3. Loose the reins. It’s your job to protect your kids, but that doesn’t mean you should hold them so close that they never experience anything on their own. If you want your children to be self-sufficient and develop confidence, it’s important to let them explore and learn what they’re capable of on their own. Allowing them to try new things and encouraging them to make their own decisions (within reason) is a good way to help them build self-esteem.
  4. Join activities. While parents may not like the idea that kids gain a measure of self-worth from their friends, the truth is that the regard of peers can definitely help to boost self-esteem. However, a good way to develop this strategy is through group activities that allow your kids to function as part of a team. In addition to the valuable life lessons that can be learned by such interaction, kids will view themselves as playing a role in the larger successes of the group. In other words, a team win can equal a personal boost, while losses will be shared to soften the blow.
  5. Volunteer work. One of the best ways to help kids feel good is to let them help others. And rather than joining some lofty organization like Greenpeace or the world transformation movement, think about getting involved in local efforts like trash pickup, tree planting, or reading or singing at area senior homes, for example. It builds character as well as self-esteem.


  1. The roots of self-confidence is grown or broken in childhood. That is why us parents must be aware of our responsibilities to make sure that we don’t make mistakes that will ruin our children’s sense of self worth.

  2. Thanks for this! I especially agree with offering children praise. It can be easy for us parents to get drowned in our wish to raise a bright child–we criticize and correct their mistakes more than appreciating their efforts and praising their accomplishments. A child that is criticized all the time will most likely harbor feelings of self-doubt.

  3. Great post- and excellent points.

    PS your button grab code in sidebar is wonky —>

Speak Your Mind