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One of the most exciting times in a couple’s life is when they make the decision to try and have a baby. And while it would be so great if it was a simple as “coming together and making one”, the reality is that, according to the Center for Disease Control, there are over 1.5 million women each year who are between the ages of 15-44 who are considered to be infertile and 7.4 million who have tried some kind of fertility treatment over the course of their lives as a direct result.
If you are someone who been trying to conceive for the past 12 months and you have yet to get a positive result on a pregnancy test, that can be hard to deal with.
Don’t take it out on yourself. During this time, it’s really easy to want to put the blame on yourself by wondering if it’s the result of something that you’ve done or didn’t do. However, this kind of thinking only puts stress on the body which can make it even more challenging to conceive. So, try and stay as positive as you can.
Do a lot of research. Due to the fact that infertility is not an uncommon issue, there is more and more information that’s becoming available to individuals who want to get pregnant. Websites such as The InterNational Council on Infertility Information Dissemination and Miracle Babies Online and organizations including The American Society for Reproductive Medicine can provide you with a wealth of information on the issue.
Reach out to your “support network”. It’s understandable why you might want to keep the inability to conceive a private matter but now, more than ever, you are going to need the support of your loved ones. So, make sure that you have some trustworthy and compassionate people who you can call on those days when you’re feeling really low and you either need to vent your frustrations or go out for dinner and a movie to take your mind off of things.
Remember that sex is to be enjoyed. Unfortunately, sometimes there is so much focus put on having sex to make a baby that partners lose sight of the other purpose that intimacy serves: spending time enjoying one another. There are many couples who find themselves having a really difficult time in their relationship because the focus turns away from one another while trying to get pregnant. You are going to need your partner’s comfort and assurance, especially during this time. So, make sure to have sex for more reasons than just to make a baby.
Be open to other alternatives. After a couple of years of no success in this area, it’s OK to start considering other alternatives. Whether it’s using something like the California Cryobank to store your embryos for another time, taking some infertility treatments or even exploring the option of adopting, one thing that’s great about this day in time is that while “the old-fashioned way” of getting pregnant may be ideal, there are plenty of other options at your disposal. Be careful not to rule them out.
Jaymecan add a thought…
I had been told for many years I wouldn’t have a child. The doctors telling me this had told me based on blood tests, then seemed to be backed up by years of no baby.
I had to go to a specialist due to issues my primary care doc couldn’t figure out. The ob I saw ran a lot of tests for this issue. Upon getting my results, she also had more for me.
She told me that doctors often tell women who have difficulty conceiving that they are infertile when there is no real proof or reason. She told me that some people need to monitor for ovulation and keep closer track, not as fertile doesn’t mean infertile. And told me to use ovulation test kits for at least a year before I even consider talking about infertility.
I didn’t hold much stock in the kits, seeing them as just a money making scheme by big companies. But, I believed in my doctor.
I was pregnant within four months of using the kit after six years of trying.
It does not make miracles. It does not work for all women having issues. But, it helps some women who have not been able to conceive. If my doctor hadn’t have convinced me, I wouldn’t be this exhausted and this absolutely happy.
aw, thank you for sharing this! and congrats Jayme!