Every family has their own struggles. Whether they’re fleeting or ongoing (and sometimes they’re both), struggles are a part of life. It’s what we do in those moments that defines us.
If you’re encountering your own struggles now, it’s time to decide what type of family you will be. Are you the family that overcomes or the family that gets defeated. Most people take the first choice. It’s a good one.
Here are 6 techniques for dealing with a struggling family.
Know you’re not alone
No matter what you’re dealing with, you’re not alone. For some, the thought alone is comforting. Others need more support, and that’s perfectly okay. Find a support group for whatever struggle you’re dealing with. It may be online or in person. You’ll find support groups for on topics from financial troubles to rare genetic disorders. Get out there (even if it’s just virtually) and connect with other people who are having similar experiences. Even if you’re dealing with a condition that’s different for everyone, like multiple sclerosis or autism, you can find comfort in support groups.
Understand that one person’s problem is everyone’s problem
When one family member is struggling with something, whether it’s addiction or a physical ailment, the entire family feels the effects.
Hold a “family meeting” to discuss this person’s needs and how each person can help. Even if it’s just being nicer to the person who is struggling, every little bit helps. During this meeting, also talk about how the struggle will impact everyone and how everyone deserves support. If your issue is intense, you may want to engage in family programming to ensure everyone gets the counseling they need.
Spend more time together
Make an effort to spend more time together as a family to help strengthen your bond. If it makes sense, you can exercise together or have a family movie night every week. At the very least, you should try to sit together for family dinners. Make this a sacred time where you all come together to talk about your day and connect.
Consider outside help
If your family is struggling with something major, you may all benefit from some counseling. Whether or not you decide to go that route, you should talk to your child’s teachers about what’s going on at home. Your child may seem fine at home, but start acting out at school. Regardless, when your child’s teachers know what’s going on, they can pay close attention to your child’s behavior.
Get on a routine
When it feels like the world is falling apart around you, routine can help you feel more in control. Routine is especially helpful for the little ones.
Struggles can really throw a wrench into a good routine, but it’s important to fight to keep things somewhat normalized. It’s okay if your struggle changes your schedule, but just try to roll with the punches and create a new routine.
If you’re off one day, that’s okay too. Just get straight back to your regularly scheduled program the next day.
Schedule check-ins
Schedule some time to sit down with the entire family and talk about what’s going on. This is a great time to share progress and talk about any changes in your plan.
Uncertainty is one of the worst things to deal with, so try not to leave your kids wondering about any potential outcomes. Just think about how you feel when you’re left in the dark. Your kids will feel the same way, and they’re likely to think the worst. Staying quiet is not going to spare their feelings. Be as open and honest about things as you feel appropriate.
It would be nice if we could all just bury our heads in the sand and wait until life’s storms pass, but that’s never the best way to handle things. When something affects the family, it’s usually best to band together and support one another.