Your children may share the same DNA; they may even look a lot alike. This doesn’t change the fact that they are still individuals with their own opinions and insights. This means that there are going to be times when they won’t see eye-to-eye, when there will be disagreements. Traditionally, these instances are called, “sibling rivalries”.
If you’re looking for a book on how to prevent them from ever happening, good luck. The truth is that at some point, your kids will encounter conflict with one another. However, if you desire some tips on how to reduce the amount or level of conflicts that occur, there’s some good information included below.
Encourage their individuality. If you’ve ever been the mediator of a conflict, you may notice that while there may be an actual issue that needs to be discussed, the greater challenge is in getting both individuals to accept the other person’s communication style. One may be vocal while the other is completely non-confrontational. One may be expressive while the other is passive. Usually differences aren’t wrong or bad, they’re just, well, different. In a parent’s job description, “mediator” comes with the title. Don’t make one child feel like they have to express their needs or concerns like the other one does. Let them know that they’re OK just the way that they are and that their feelings (and expression of them) should be equally respected at all times.
Provide them with the right tools. If there’s a 3 and 5-year-old fighting over a toy in their bedroom, screaming out “Stop all of that yelling!” may make you feel better, but it doesn’t really teach them anything. They’re fighting for the toy because they don’t know how to get it any other way. Go to them and speak about the importance of not just taking turns, but awaiting their turn too. Let them know that there are alternatives to having that particular toy and that while they wait, they can use those other options. Of course, you’ll have to say all of this on a level that preschoolers understand and they probably won’t “get it” on the first try, but if they learn how to argue well as children, it will definitely make adult life a lot easier.
Try not to take sides. This one is a bit tricky because obviously if one child hits another, then it’s [Read more…]
